Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Let's start at the beginning...

Two blogs in one day! That is a new record for me but after writing this morning I just felt like I wanted to clarify something. I know that some of my friends that are reading my blog might be thinking “whoa, Nicole went and got super religious all the sudden.” Not that I was a huge rebel or anything. I’ve been a Christian all my life. I was just more of a -believe it in my heart but keep it to myself Christian. I was a – go to church every once in awhile but still act like the rest of the world Christian. Big changes have happened in my life in the last 3 months but I wouldn’t say it was all because I started going to church again. (Even though our new church is awesome!)  So to bring some clarification let me start with the beginning.

Dec 7th, I know the exact date you’ll see why in a sec. It was December, and we had just moved into our new house, and I was still adjusting to my new role as stay at home mom. It wasn’t the easiest decision in the world for me. I had a lot of feelings of “am I really contributing enough if I’m not making money” and “should I be going to school like all my friends are.” I loved being home with my kids but those questions were starting to really bother me. I needed assurance, needed God to tell me that I had made the right choice. And I’ll tell you it’s hard to get answers from God if you’re not talking to Him. So that morning, while the kids were still sleeping, I made a cup of coffee and sat at the dining table and for the first time in a long time, just talked to God. I felt very alone and I told Him that I needed Him to show me that He was indeed listening to me. That He cared about even my silly little worries. So after praying for awhile I got up went into my closet and pulled down this old daily devotional that my mom had bought me years before. And when I opened it to that day’s date I was shaken, heart -racing excitement poured through me as I saw that everything written on that page was everything I had just vented to God about. I don’t believe it was just coincidence. Right there I got my assurance- He was listening.

The title for that day was Vision. Here’s a little of what it said: “Do you know why we are here, what we have been made for, our purpose? Sometimes we live out what other people perceive as our vision and calling and never discover for ourselves what that really is. Sometimes we are afraid to reach out and live the life that we believe we have been called to. Someone recently asked me if I could state in a sentence what my life is all about. I replied, “The purpose of my life is to learn to love God more and to communicate that love and grace to others.” That is why I am on this planet. If I were to ask you to give me a sentence that encapsulated your vision for your life, what would it be?”

Pretty much screamed “YES I’M LISTENING KEEP TALKING” to me. So needless to say I’ve kept talking and am now starting to listen and hear something back.

I promise I didn’t start this blog to preach. It just happened that when I sat down to write, it was all I could think about because it’s so passionate in my heart right now. So for a little explanation for friends -God’s doing big changes in my life and it’s amazing. I can’t help but share! The more time I spend with Him the more I see all my other relationships and areas of my life get so much better. So I encourage you to ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Draw near.

On another note… This past week has been very exciting. Skylar started crawling and Micah's now riding his bike by himself. More milestones have come and gone. It makes me sad but happy too. It’s a bittersweet thing watching your children grow up so quickly. Oh and I wanted to tell you that we went to the doctor on Friday and just 1 day after Micah was miraculously healed the doctor confirmed that his lungs looked awesome!


(photo from here)
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