I’m finally sitting down to share what’s been on my heart.
Last week I really needed God to pour out some peace on me because I could just feel my heart trembling with anxiety. I couldn’t shake it off. So I ran to my refuge. And when I woke up yesterday I could just feel His peace so thick it was almost tangible. Then when Stephen came home he handed me an envelope with a check in it. Completely unexpected, we still have no idea why this came and really where it came from, but the timing could not have been more perfect. I love seeing God at work in our lives. Everyday I’m recognizing that He is present, He is alive, he heals, He always provides. He wows me.
In the last couple years Stephen and I have been going through a huge awakening. Everything we grew up believing has been completely turned upside down. The Christian lives we were living were not biblical at all. Like most Christians (especially American Christians) we looked more like “self focused consumers rather than self-sacrificing servants.” We were going to church so that we could be good, moral people. But it’s not about adding a little Jesus to your pretty comfortable life. He isn’t something you just throw into the mix. He is your life! And if that last statement is true than people are going to notice a difference.
If you really know Him, not just about Him, but know Him you would be blown away! There would be no sitting in church on Sunday and going out on Monday and completely blending in with the rest of the world. Because once you experience His presence, your life will never be the same. And I know you may have already heard that before. I know I heard it 100 times growing up. But now I know it’s the truth! Because I would rather die than go back to where I was a few years ago, yes a “Christian” but not really.
Because when you follow Jesus life isn’t comfortable anymore. Jesus said, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” If your Christianity looks like the American dream than you really need to read your bible. I know that sounds super harsh but I was so blind before.
I have this song on repeat this week and the lyrics go –
{I was so lost, but you showed the way,
cause you are the way.
I was lied to, but you told the truth,
cause you are the truth.}
And that’s how I feel. Like I was lied to but when I sought Him out for myself He showed me the truth and now I feel like I'm really being awakened to reality for the first time. I don’t want you to read this and feel condemned. Please be encouraged to really seek after Jesus for yourself. Put aside the things you’ve been taught and seek Him with a sincere heart and I promise you will find Him. God doesn’t make Himself hard to find. He says, “Make your presence known to me and I’ll make my presence known to you.”
I am so so happy right now. And it's not because things are going so perfectly smooth for me. There are some pretty scary adventures ahead for us but when you stop living for yourself and start living for the reason you were created (to have a relationship with Him and bring glory to Him) that's when you start really living.
